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Company threatening to call my current job after I declined their offer
Why is quitting without having a new job lined up seen so negatively by employers?Unresponsive recruiter yet responsive hiring managerIs it okay to tell the preferred company that you have received other job offers?after job interview and initial offer not hearing back from recruiterI was not considered for a position, could I still make a fighting change?Unplanned absence in the middle of interview processContacted after interview for another phone call, but didn't get the call. Should I follow up again?Job interview in pending after not answering “What's your current salary?”Late-stage interview: am I being blown off or is this a negotiation tactic?Dilemma of explaining to interviewer that he is the reason for declining second interviewShould I tell my dream job I rescinded another offer to wait for their process?
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I declined a job offer last week for cultural fit reasons, over email, and this morning I received an email back from the hiring manager saying that he's very disappointed in me and he'll be calling my current employer to let them know I'm looking around. Should I try to get ahead of this and tell my manager, or call his bluff?
interviewing job-search
asked 8 hours ago
rootyrooty
1843 bronze badges
New contributor
rooty is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
I declined a job offer last week for cultural fit reasons, over email, and this morning I received an email back from the hiring manager saying that he's very disappointed in me and he'll be calling my current employer to let them know I'm looking around. Should I try to get ahead of this and tell my manager, or call his bluff?
interviewing job-search
asked 8 hours ago
rootyrooty
1843 bronze badges
New contributor
rooty is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
@rooty would you mind clarifying some things: (1) did you approach this company or did they approached you? (2) please mention your location
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
4
Did you bad mouth your current employer?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
1
What do you mean by "call his bluff"? What would you do?
– Joe Strazzere
3 hours ago
add a comment |
I declined a job offer last week for cultural fit reasons, over email, and this morning I received an email back from the hiring manager saying that he's very disappointed in me and he'll be calling my current employer to let them know I'm looking around. Should I try to get ahead of this and tell my manager, or call his bluff?
interviewing job-search
asked 8 hours ago
rootyrooty
1843 bronze badges
New contributor
rooty is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I declined a job offer last week for cultural fit reasons, over email, and this morning I received an email back from the hiring manager saying that he's very disappointed in me and he'll be calling my current employer to let them know I'm looking around. Should I try to get ahead of this and tell my manager, or call his bluff?
interviewing job-search
interviewing job-search
asked 8 hours ago
rootyrooty
1843 bronze badges
New contributor
rooty is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 8 hours ago
rootyrooty
1843 bronze badges
New contributor
rooty is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 8 hours ago
rootyrooty
1843 bronze badges
New contributor
rooty is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 8 hours ago
rootyrooty
1843 bronze badges
asked 8 hours ago
rootyrooty
1843 bronze badges
1843 bronze badges
New contributor
rooty is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
rooty is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
@rooty would you mind clarifying some things: (1) did you approach this company or did they approached you? (2) please mention your location
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
4
Did you bad mouth your current employer?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
1
What do you mean by "call his bluff"? What would you do?
– Joe Strazzere
3 hours ago
add a comment |
@rooty would you mind clarifying some things: (1) did you approach this company or did they approached you? (2) please mention your location
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
4
Did you bad mouth your current employer?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
1
What do you mean by "call his bluff"? What would you do?
– Joe Strazzere
3 hours ago
@rooty would you mind clarifying some things: (1) did you approach this company or did they approached you? (2) please mention your location
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@rooty would you mind clarifying some things: (1) did you approach this company or did they approached you? (2) please mention your location
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
4
4
Did you bad mouth your current employer?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
Did you bad mouth your current employer?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
1
1
What do you mean by "call his bluff"? What would you do?
– Joe Strazzere
3 hours ago
What do you mean by "call his bluff"? What would you do?
– Joe Strazzere
3 hours ago
add a comment |
4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
Call his bluff. It would be extremely petty and inappropriate to do that. I cannot imagine doing it. One's life would have to be pretty small to do so.
Having said that, if he does call...so what? Just tell your boss you got approached by them but turned them down. At this point it's your word against their word, and you're the one staying at your job.
answered 8 hours ago
KeithKeith
8,9677 gold badges22 silver badges38 bronze badges
2
I think lying would not be appropriate. Speak truth without fear. Looking for a job while working is totally fine. He can then explain the reason why he is doing so. It is assumed that most employees can tender resignation any time that's why they have "notice period" and other precautionary measures.
– anal
8 hours ago
9
@anal I disagree. Yes, you should look and find a new job before quitting, so you will be looking while you still have a job. However, that doesn't mean you want your boss to know you are considering leaving. Telling your boss you are looking before you are ready to leave just gives them the opportunity to replace you before you have a new job lined up.
– David K
8 hours ago
@DavidK wouldn't that put OP in worse place if his lie was caught?
– anal
8 hours ago
@anal and David, I think we currently ignore if OP approached them or if the company approached OP (I already asked for clarification). Attending an interview does not imply that you are looking to leave, some just do it for curiosity, to know what else is out there, or even because some acquaintance insisted on OP to attend...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@anal suggested reading that relates to what David was saying: Why is quitting without having a new job lined up seen so negatively by employers?
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
add a comment |
As a manager, if someone called me and said "hey, rooty, who works for you, got offered a job at my company but they turned it down!" I would certainly not hold it against rooty. If anything, I would want to congratulate rooty for making what seems like an obvious good decision to not go work for a company managed by inappropriate and awkward leaders.
Knowing that an employee of mine was thinking about leaving would change nothing. If someone has a problem, either I can solve it, or I can't. This is an ongoing process of staying in the loop with employees and addressing issues as they've come up - either your manager is already doing this, or they aren't. Managers who respond to threats of losing people are generally not the kinds of people you'd want to work for long term anyways.
answered 8 hours ago
dwizumdwizum
25.5k11 gold badges53 silver badges88 bronze badges
But what if rooty spoke bad about his current company, and the somone will snitch and tell everything was told?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
@SandraK we don't know if rooty spoke bad of their current company, so I think that what you say is tangential and perhaps stretching it too far...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@DarkCygnus so, "incomplete answer" because "we don't know", because if it is true that rooty bad mouthed, following this answer would not be great for the manage and rooty.
– Sandra K
7 hours ago
1
@SandraK - not incomplete answer. Who cares? My answer applies to that as well. If I was rooty's boss, and someone called me and said, "rooty has been talking about how terrible you are to work for!" I would ignore them. I try to maintain an ongiong, improvement-based relationship with my employees. I'm already working with them to identify and solve problems. If I'm so far off base that they don't like me at all, then so be it, they can continue their search and move on.
– dwizum
7 hours ago
1
And on the other hand, if your boss is the kind of person who would actually react negatively to this sort of feedback, then good riddance - who wants to work for a boss that places more trust in a random phone call than in his relationship with his own employees?
– dwizum
7 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
A friend once relayed a story of threats that resulted in him simply replying, “If that’s what you think you should do, then that’s what you should do.” I believe it applies here as well. It tends to make the other party realize his actions are not terribly concerning to you.
I’d focus more on your view of the work environment and your relationship with your boss. I’d suggest letting it lie until you hear from your boss. It is perfectly reasonable for someone to test the waters from time to time. If your manager deserves to be considered a true leader, he has interest in his people and doesn’t take a slave owner’s view of his team. It may even make him consider ways to keep you happy where you are. Just remember very few managers want to hire replacements. He’s unlikely to sink a lot of time trying to do so over retaining you.
Also, prepare your response. Be honest. Maybe focus on the fact that you turned down the offer. In your own phrasing, perhaps this might work: “Yes, I test the waters occasionally. This demonstrates that our company came out on top and serves to reinforce that I’m where I should be.”
To the threats, that manager has now emailed you proof and you plausibly could do more damage to him and his company than he’ll do to you. Beyond professional networking and company review sites, you have the option of forwarding his email onto his HR department and could probably find higher ups on LinkedIn if you truly wanted to get vindictive. That sort of escalation does come with other considerations of how he might retaliate, but I wouldn’t say you are wrong for doing so. And I wouldn’t threaten him back. I’d either choose to pursue that path or not.
answered 7 hours ago
John SpiegelJohn Spiegel
2,7445 silver badges15 bronze badges
add a comment |
Depending on your jurisdiction, this may be extortion. I would consult with a lawyer, you may be able to file criminal charges against the hiring manager or sue for damages if he causes you to be fired from your current company.
answered 8 hours ago
sf02sf02
15.7k7 gold badges28 silver badges59 bronze badges
There's absolutely no reason you'd be fired from the current company, unless they were so psychotic that you'd be going with the new one anyways
– George M
3 hours ago
add a comment |
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4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
4 Answers
4
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
Call his bluff. It would be extremely petty and inappropriate to do that. I cannot imagine doing it. One's life would have to be pretty small to do so.
Having said that, if he does call...so what? Just tell your boss you got approached by them but turned them down. At this point it's your word against their word, and you're the one staying at your job.
answered 8 hours ago
KeithKeith
8,9677 gold badges22 silver badges38 bronze badges
2
I think lying would not be appropriate. Speak truth without fear. Looking for a job while working is totally fine. He can then explain the reason why he is doing so. It is assumed that most employees can tender resignation any time that's why they have "notice period" and other precautionary measures.
– anal
8 hours ago
9
@anal I disagree. Yes, you should look and find a new job before quitting, so you will be looking while you still have a job. However, that doesn't mean you want your boss to know you are considering leaving. Telling your boss you are looking before you are ready to leave just gives them the opportunity to replace you before you have a new job lined up.
– David K
8 hours ago
@DavidK wouldn't that put OP in worse place if his lie was caught?
– anal
8 hours ago
@anal and David, I think we currently ignore if OP approached them or if the company approached OP (I already asked for clarification). Attending an interview does not imply that you are looking to leave, some just do it for curiosity, to know what else is out there, or even because some acquaintance insisted on OP to attend...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@anal suggested reading that relates to what David was saying: Why is quitting without having a new job lined up seen so negatively by employers?
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
add a comment |
Call his bluff. It would be extremely petty and inappropriate to do that. I cannot imagine doing it. One's life would have to be pretty small to do so.
Having said that, if he does call...so what? Just tell your boss you got approached by them but turned them down. At this point it's your word against their word, and you're the one staying at your job.
answered 8 hours ago
KeithKeith
8,9677 gold badges22 silver badges38 bronze badges
2
I think lying would not be appropriate. Speak truth without fear. Looking for a job while working is totally fine. He can then explain the reason why he is doing so. It is assumed that most employees can tender resignation any time that's why they have "notice period" and other precautionary measures.
– anal
8 hours ago
9
@anal I disagree. Yes, you should look and find a new job before quitting, so you will be looking while you still have a job. However, that doesn't mean you want your boss to know you are considering leaving. Telling your boss you are looking before you are ready to leave just gives them the opportunity to replace you before you have a new job lined up.
– David K
8 hours ago
@DavidK wouldn't that put OP in worse place if his lie was caught?
– anal
8 hours ago
@anal and David, I think we currently ignore if OP approached them or if the company approached OP (I already asked for clarification). Attending an interview does not imply that you are looking to leave, some just do it for curiosity, to know what else is out there, or even because some acquaintance insisted on OP to attend...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@anal suggested reading that relates to what David was saying: Why is quitting without having a new job lined up seen so negatively by employers?
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
add a comment |
Call his bluff. It would be extremely petty and inappropriate to do that. I cannot imagine doing it. One's life would have to be pretty small to do so.
Having said that, if he does call...so what? Just tell your boss you got approached by them but turned them down. At this point it's your word against their word, and you're the one staying at your job.
answered 8 hours ago
KeithKeith
8,9677 gold badges22 silver badges38 bronze badges
Call his bluff. It would be extremely petty and inappropriate to do that. I cannot imagine doing it. One's life would have to be pretty small to do so.
Having said that, if he does call...so what? Just tell your boss you got approached by them but turned them down. At this point it's your word against their word, and you're the one staying at your job.
answered 8 hours ago
KeithKeith
8,9677 gold badges22 silver badges38 bronze badges
answered 8 hours ago
KeithKeith
8,9677 gold badges22 silver badges38 bronze badges
answered 8 hours ago
KeithKeith
8,9677 gold badges22 silver badges38 bronze badges
answered 8 hours ago
KeithKeith
8,9677 gold badges22 silver badges38 bronze badges
8,9677 gold badges22 silver badges38 bronze badges
2
I think lying would not be appropriate. Speak truth without fear. Looking for a job while working is totally fine. He can then explain the reason why he is doing so. It is assumed that most employees can tender resignation any time that's why they have "notice period" and other precautionary measures.
– anal
8 hours ago
9
@anal I disagree. Yes, you should look and find a new job before quitting, so you will be looking while you still have a job. However, that doesn't mean you want your boss to know you are considering leaving. Telling your boss you are looking before you are ready to leave just gives them the opportunity to replace you before you have a new job lined up.
– David K
8 hours ago
@DavidK wouldn't that put OP in worse place if his lie was caught?
– anal
8 hours ago
@anal and David, I think we currently ignore if OP approached them or if the company approached OP (I already asked for clarification). Attending an interview does not imply that you are looking to leave, some just do it for curiosity, to know what else is out there, or even because some acquaintance insisted on OP to attend...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@anal suggested reading that relates to what David was saying: Why is quitting without having a new job lined up seen so negatively by employers?
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
add a comment |
2
I think lying would not be appropriate. Speak truth without fear. Looking for a job while working is totally fine. He can then explain the reason why he is doing so. It is assumed that most employees can tender resignation any time that's why they have "notice period" and other precautionary measures.
– anal
8 hours ago
9
@anal I disagree. Yes, you should look and find a new job before quitting, so you will be looking while you still have a job. However, that doesn't mean you want your boss to know you are considering leaving. Telling your boss you are looking before you are ready to leave just gives them the opportunity to replace you before you have a new job lined up.
– David K
8 hours ago
@DavidK wouldn't that put OP in worse place if his lie was caught?
– anal
8 hours ago
@anal and David, I think we currently ignore if OP approached them or if the company approached OP (I already asked for clarification). Attending an interview does not imply that you are looking to leave, some just do it for curiosity, to know what else is out there, or even because some acquaintance insisted on OP to attend...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@anal suggested reading that relates to what David was saying: Why is quitting without having a new job lined up seen so negatively by employers?
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
2
2
I think lying would not be appropriate. Speak truth without fear. Looking for a job while working is totally fine. He can then explain the reason why he is doing so. It is assumed that most employees can tender resignation any time that's why they have "notice period" and other precautionary measures.
– anal
8 hours ago
I think lying would not be appropriate. Speak truth without fear. Looking for a job while working is totally fine. He can then explain the reason why he is doing so. It is assumed that most employees can tender resignation any time that's why they have "notice period" and other precautionary measures.
– anal
8 hours ago
9
9
@anal I disagree. Yes, you should look and find a new job before quitting, so you will be looking while you still have a job. However, that doesn't mean you want your boss to know you are considering leaving. Telling your boss you are looking before you are ready to leave just gives them the opportunity to replace you before you have a new job lined up.
– David K
8 hours ago
@anal I disagree. Yes, you should look and find a new job before quitting, so you will be looking while you still have a job. However, that doesn't mean you want your boss to know you are considering leaving. Telling your boss you are looking before you are ready to leave just gives them the opportunity to replace you before you have a new job lined up.
– David K
8 hours ago
@DavidK wouldn't that put OP in worse place if his lie was caught?
– anal
8 hours ago
@DavidK wouldn't that put OP in worse place if his lie was caught?
– anal
8 hours ago
@anal and David, I think we currently ignore if OP approached them or if the company approached OP (I already asked for clarification). Attending an interview does not imply that you are looking to leave, some just do it for curiosity, to know what else is out there, or even because some acquaintance insisted on OP to attend...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@anal and David, I think we currently ignore if OP approached them or if the company approached OP (I already asked for clarification). Attending an interview does not imply that you are looking to leave, some just do it for curiosity, to know what else is out there, or even because some acquaintance insisted on OP to attend...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@anal suggested reading that relates to what David was saying: Why is quitting without having a new job lined up seen so negatively by employers?
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@anal suggested reading that relates to what David was saying: Why is quitting without having a new job lined up seen so negatively by employers?
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
add a comment |
As a manager, if someone called me and said "hey, rooty, who works for you, got offered a job at my company but they turned it down!" I would certainly not hold it against rooty. If anything, I would want to congratulate rooty for making what seems like an obvious good decision to not go work for a company managed by inappropriate and awkward leaders.
Knowing that an employee of mine was thinking about leaving would change nothing. If someone has a problem, either I can solve it, or I can't. This is an ongoing process of staying in the loop with employees and addressing issues as they've come up - either your manager is already doing this, or they aren't. Managers who respond to threats of losing people are generally not the kinds of people you'd want to work for long term anyways.
answered 8 hours ago
dwizumdwizum
25.5k11 gold badges53 silver badges88 bronze badges
But what if rooty spoke bad about his current company, and the somone will snitch and tell everything was told?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
@SandraK we don't know if rooty spoke bad of their current company, so I think that what you say is tangential and perhaps stretching it too far...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@DarkCygnus so, "incomplete answer" because "we don't know", because if it is true that rooty bad mouthed, following this answer would not be great for the manage and rooty.
– Sandra K
7 hours ago
1
@SandraK - not incomplete answer. Who cares? My answer applies to that as well. If I was rooty's boss, and someone called me and said, "rooty has been talking about how terrible you are to work for!" I would ignore them. I try to maintain an ongiong, improvement-based relationship with my employees. I'm already working with them to identify and solve problems. If I'm so far off base that they don't like me at all, then so be it, they can continue their search and move on.
– dwizum
7 hours ago
1
And on the other hand, if your boss is the kind of person who would actually react negatively to this sort of feedback, then good riddance - who wants to work for a boss that places more trust in a random phone call than in his relationship with his own employees?
– dwizum
7 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
As a manager, if someone called me and said "hey, rooty, who works for you, got offered a job at my company but they turned it down!" I would certainly not hold it against rooty. If anything, I would want to congratulate rooty for making what seems like an obvious good decision to not go work for a company managed by inappropriate and awkward leaders.
Knowing that an employee of mine was thinking about leaving would change nothing. If someone has a problem, either I can solve it, or I can't. This is an ongoing process of staying in the loop with employees and addressing issues as they've come up - either your manager is already doing this, or they aren't. Managers who respond to threats of losing people are generally not the kinds of people you'd want to work for long term anyways.
answered 8 hours ago
dwizumdwizum
25.5k11 gold badges53 silver badges88 bronze badges
But what if rooty spoke bad about his current company, and the somone will snitch and tell everything was told?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
@SandraK we don't know if rooty spoke bad of their current company, so I think that what you say is tangential and perhaps stretching it too far...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@DarkCygnus so, "incomplete answer" because "we don't know", because if it is true that rooty bad mouthed, following this answer would not be great for the manage and rooty.
– Sandra K
7 hours ago
1
@SandraK - not incomplete answer. Who cares? My answer applies to that as well. If I was rooty's boss, and someone called me and said, "rooty has been talking about how terrible you are to work for!" I would ignore them. I try to maintain an ongiong, improvement-based relationship with my employees. I'm already working with them to identify and solve problems. If I'm so far off base that they don't like me at all, then so be it, they can continue their search and move on.
– dwizum
7 hours ago
1
And on the other hand, if your boss is the kind of person who would actually react negatively to this sort of feedback, then good riddance - who wants to work for a boss that places more trust in a random phone call than in his relationship with his own employees?
– dwizum
7 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
As a manager, if someone called me and said "hey, rooty, who works for you, got offered a job at my company but they turned it down!" I would certainly not hold it against rooty. If anything, I would want to congratulate rooty for making what seems like an obvious good decision to not go work for a company managed by inappropriate and awkward leaders.
Knowing that an employee of mine was thinking about leaving would change nothing. If someone has a problem, either I can solve it, or I can't. This is an ongoing process of staying in the loop with employees and addressing issues as they've come up - either your manager is already doing this, or they aren't. Managers who respond to threats of losing people are generally not the kinds of people you'd want to work for long term anyways.
answered 8 hours ago
dwizumdwizum
25.5k11 gold badges53 silver badges88 bronze badges
As a manager, if someone called me and said "hey, rooty, who works for you, got offered a job at my company but they turned it down!" I would certainly not hold it against rooty. If anything, I would want to congratulate rooty for making what seems like an obvious good decision to not go work for a company managed by inappropriate and awkward leaders.
Knowing that an employee of mine was thinking about leaving would change nothing. If someone has a problem, either I can solve it, or I can't. This is an ongoing process of staying in the loop with employees and addressing issues as they've come up - either your manager is already doing this, or they aren't. Managers who respond to threats of losing people are generally not the kinds of people you'd want to work for long term anyways.
answered 8 hours ago
dwizumdwizum
25.5k11 gold badges53 silver badges88 bronze badges
answered 8 hours ago
dwizumdwizum
25.5k11 gold badges53 silver badges88 bronze badges
answered 8 hours ago
dwizumdwizum
25.5k11 gold badges53 silver badges88 bronze badges
answered 8 hours ago
dwizumdwizum
25.5k11 gold badges53 silver badges88 bronze badges
25.5k11 gold badges53 silver badges88 bronze badges
But what if rooty spoke bad about his current company, and the somone will snitch and tell everything was told?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
@SandraK we don't know if rooty spoke bad of their current company, so I think that what you say is tangential and perhaps stretching it too far...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@DarkCygnus so, "incomplete answer" because "we don't know", because if it is true that rooty bad mouthed, following this answer would not be great for the manage and rooty.
– Sandra K
7 hours ago
1
@SandraK - not incomplete answer. Who cares? My answer applies to that as well. If I was rooty's boss, and someone called me and said, "rooty has been talking about how terrible you are to work for!" I would ignore them. I try to maintain an ongiong, improvement-based relationship with my employees. I'm already working with them to identify and solve problems. If I'm so far off base that they don't like me at all, then so be it, they can continue their search and move on.
– dwizum
7 hours ago
1
And on the other hand, if your boss is the kind of person who would actually react negatively to this sort of feedback, then good riddance - who wants to work for a boss that places more trust in a random phone call than in his relationship with his own employees?
– dwizum
7 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
But what if rooty spoke bad about his current company, and the somone will snitch and tell everything was told?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
@SandraK we don't know if rooty spoke bad of their current company, so I think that what you say is tangential and perhaps stretching it too far...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@DarkCygnus so, "incomplete answer" because "we don't know", because if it is true that rooty bad mouthed, following this answer would not be great for the manage and rooty.
– Sandra K
7 hours ago
1
@SandraK - not incomplete answer. Who cares? My answer applies to that as well. If I was rooty's boss, and someone called me and said, "rooty has been talking about how terrible you are to work for!" I would ignore them. I try to maintain an ongiong, improvement-based relationship with my employees. I'm already working with them to identify and solve problems. If I'm so far off base that they don't like me at all, then so be it, they can continue their search and move on.
– dwizum
7 hours ago
1
And on the other hand, if your boss is the kind of person who would actually react negatively to this sort of feedback, then good riddance - who wants to work for a boss that places more trust in a random phone call than in his relationship with his own employees?
– dwizum
7 hours ago
But what if rooty spoke bad about his current company, and the somone will snitch and tell everything was told?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
But what if rooty spoke bad about his current company, and the somone will snitch and tell everything was told?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
@SandraK we don't know if rooty spoke bad of their current company, so I think that what you say is tangential and perhaps stretching it too far...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@SandraK we don't know if rooty spoke bad of their current company, so I think that what you say is tangential and perhaps stretching it too far...
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
@DarkCygnus so, "incomplete answer" because "we don't know", because if it is true that rooty bad mouthed, following this answer would not be great for the manage and rooty.
– Sandra K
7 hours ago
@DarkCygnus so, "incomplete answer" because "we don't know", because if it is true that rooty bad mouthed, following this answer would not be great for the manage and rooty.
– Sandra K
7 hours ago
1
1
@SandraK - not incomplete answer. Who cares? My answer applies to that as well. If I was rooty's boss, and someone called me and said, "rooty has been talking about how terrible you are to work for!" I would ignore them. I try to maintain an ongiong, improvement-based relationship with my employees. I'm already working with them to identify and solve problems. If I'm so far off base that they don't like me at all, then so be it, they can continue their search and move on.
– dwizum
7 hours ago
@SandraK - not incomplete answer. Who cares? My answer applies to that as well. If I was rooty's boss, and someone called me and said, "rooty has been talking about how terrible you are to work for!" I would ignore them. I try to maintain an ongiong, improvement-based relationship with my employees. I'm already working with them to identify and solve problems. If I'm so far off base that they don't like me at all, then so be it, they can continue their search and move on.
– dwizum
7 hours ago
1
1
And on the other hand, if your boss is the kind of person who would actually react negatively to this sort of feedback, then good riddance - who wants to work for a boss that places more trust in a random phone call than in his relationship with his own employees?
– dwizum
7 hours ago
And on the other hand, if your boss is the kind of person who would actually react negatively to this sort of feedback, then good riddance - who wants to work for a boss that places more trust in a random phone call than in his relationship with his own employees?
– dwizum
7 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
A friend once relayed a story of threats that resulted in him simply replying, “If that’s what you think you should do, then that’s what you should do.” I believe it applies here as well. It tends to make the other party realize his actions are not terribly concerning to you.
I’d focus more on your view of the work environment and your relationship with your boss. I’d suggest letting it lie until you hear from your boss. It is perfectly reasonable for someone to test the waters from time to time. If your manager deserves to be considered a true leader, he has interest in his people and doesn’t take a slave owner’s view of his team. It may even make him consider ways to keep you happy where you are. Just remember very few managers want to hire replacements. He’s unlikely to sink a lot of time trying to do so over retaining you.
Also, prepare your response. Be honest. Maybe focus on the fact that you turned down the offer. In your own phrasing, perhaps this might work: “Yes, I test the waters occasionally. This demonstrates that our company came out on top and serves to reinforce that I’m where I should be.”
To the threats, that manager has now emailed you proof and you plausibly could do more damage to him and his company than he’ll do to you. Beyond professional networking and company review sites, you have the option of forwarding his email onto his HR department and could probably find higher ups on LinkedIn if you truly wanted to get vindictive. That sort of escalation does come with other considerations of how he might retaliate, but I wouldn’t say you are wrong for doing so. And I wouldn’t threaten him back. I’d either choose to pursue that path or not.
answered 7 hours ago
John SpiegelJohn Spiegel
2,7445 silver badges15 bronze badges
add a comment |
A friend once relayed a story of threats that resulted in him simply replying, “If that’s what you think you should do, then that’s what you should do.” I believe it applies here as well. It tends to make the other party realize his actions are not terribly concerning to you.
I’d focus more on your view of the work environment and your relationship with your boss. I’d suggest letting it lie until you hear from your boss. It is perfectly reasonable for someone to test the waters from time to time. If your manager deserves to be considered a true leader, he has interest in his people and doesn’t take a slave owner’s view of his team. It may even make him consider ways to keep you happy where you are. Just remember very few managers want to hire replacements. He’s unlikely to sink a lot of time trying to do so over retaining you.
Also, prepare your response. Be honest. Maybe focus on the fact that you turned down the offer. In your own phrasing, perhaps this might work: “Yes, I test the waters occasionally. This demonstrates that our company came out on top and serves to reinforce that I’m where I should be.”
To the threats, that manager has now emailed you proof and you plausibly could do more damage to him and his company than he’ll do to you. Beyond professional networking and company review sites, you have the option of forwarding his email onto his HR department and could probably find higher ups on LinkedIn if you truly wanted to get vindictive. That sort of escalation does come with other considerations of how he might retaliate, but I wouldn’t say you are wrong for doing so. And I wouldn’t threaten him back. I’d either choose to pursue that path or not.
answered 7 hours ago
John SpiegelJohn Spiegel
2,7445 silver badges15 bronze badges
add a comment |
A friend once relayed a story of threats that resulted in him simply replying, “If that’s what you think you should do, then that’s what you should do.” I believe it applies here as well. It tends to make the other party realize his actions are not terribly concerning to you.
I’d focus more on your view of the work environment and your relationship with your boss. I’d suggest letting it lie until you hear from your boss. It is perfectly reasonable for someone to test the waters from time to time. If your manager deserves to be considered a true leader, he has interest in his people and doesn’t take a slave owner’s view of his team. It may even make him consider ways to keep you happy where you are. Just remember very few managers want to hire replacements. He’s unlikely to sink a lot of time trying to do so over retaining you.
Also, prepare your response. Be honest. Maybe focus on the fact that you turned down the offer. In your own phrasing, perhaps this might work: “Yes, I test the waters occasionally. This demonstrates that our company came out on top and serves to reinforce that I’m where I should be.”
To the threats, that manager has now emailed you proof and you plausibly could do more damage to him and his company than he’ll do to you. Beyond professional networking and company review sites, you have the option of forwarding his email onto his HR department and could probably find higher ups on LinkedIn if you truly wanted to get vindictive. That sort of escalation does come with other considerations of how he might retaliate, but I wouldn’t say you are wrong for doing so. And I wouldn’t threaten him back. I’d either choose to pursue that path or not.
answered 7 hours ago
John SpiegelJohn Spiegel
2,7445 silver badges15 bronze badges
A friend once relayed a story of threats that resulted in him simply replying, “If that’s what you think you should do, then that’s what you should do.” I believe it applies here as well. It tends to make the other party realize his actions are not terribly concerning to you.
I’d focus more on your view of the work environment and your relationship with your boss. I’d suggest letting it lie until you hear from your boss. It is perfectly reasonable for someone to test the waters from time to time. If your manager deserves to be considered a true leader, he has interest in his people and doesn’t take a slave owner’s view of his team. It may even make him consider ways to keep you happy where you are. Just remember very few managers want to hire replacements. He’s unlikely to sink a lot of time trying to do so over retaining you.
Also, prepare your response. Be honest. Maybe focus on the fact that you turned down the offer. In your own phrasing, perhaps this might work: “Yes, I test the waters occasionally. This demonstrates that our company came out on top and serves to reinforce that I’m where I should be.”
To the threats, that manager has now emailed you proof and you plausibly could do more damage to him and his company than he’ll do to you. Beyond professional networking and company review sites, you have the option of forwarding his email onto his HR department and could probably find higher ups on LinkedIn if you truly wanted to get vindictive. That sort of escalation does come with other considerations of how he might retaliate, but I wouldn’t say you are wrong for doing so. And I wouldn’t threaten him back. I’d either choose to pursue that path or not.
answered 7 hours ago
John SpiegelJohn Spiegel
2,7445 silver badges15 bronze badges
answered 7 hours ago
John SpiegelJohn Spiegel
2,7445 silver badges15 bronze badges
answered 7 hours ago
John SpiegelJohn Spiegel
2,7445 silver badges15 bronze badges
answered 7 hours ago
John SpiegelJohn Spiegel
2,7445 silver badges15 bronze badges
2,7445 silver badges15 bronze badges
add a comment |
add a comment |
Depending on your jurisdiction, this may be extortion. I would consult with a lawyer, you may be able to file criminal charges against the hiring manager or sue for damages if he causes you to be fired from your current company.
answered 8 hours ago
sf02sf02
15.7k7 gold badges28 silver badges59 bronze badges
There's absolutely no reason you'd be fired from the current company, unless they were so psychotic that you'd be going with the new one anyways
– George M
3 hours ago
add a comment |
Depending on your jurisdiction, this may be extortion. I would consult with a lawyer, you may be able to file criminal charges against the hiring manager or sue for damages if he causes you to be fired from your current company.
answered 8 hours ago
sf02sf02
15.7k7 gold badges28 silver badges59 bronze badges
There's absolutely no reason you'd be fired from the current company, unless they were so psychotic that you'd be going with the new one anyways
– George M
3 hours ago
add a comment |
Depending on your jurisdiction, this may be extortion. I would consult with a lawyer, you may be able to file criminal charges against the hiring manager or sue for damages if he causes you to be fired from your current company.
answered 8 hours ago
sf02sf02
15.7k7 gold badges28 silver badges59 bronze badges
Depending on your jurisdiction, this may be extortion. I would consult with a lawyer, you may be able to file criminal charges against the hiring manager or sue for damages if he causes you to be fired from your current company.
answered 8 hours ago
sf02sf02
15.7k7 gold badges28 silver badges59 bronze badges
answered 8 hours ago
sf02sf02
15.7k7 gold badges28 silver badges59 bronze badges
answered 8 hours ago
sf02sf02
15.7k7 gold badges28 silver badges59 bronze badges
answered 8 hours ago
sf02sf02
15.7k7 gold badges28 silver badges59 bronze badges
15.7k7 gold badges28 silver badges59 bronze badges
There's absolutely no reason you'd be fired from the current company, unless they were so psychotic that you'd be going with the new one anyways
– George M
3 hours ago
add a comment |
There's absolutely no reason you'd be fired from the current company, unless they were so psychotic that you'd be going with the new one anyways
– George M
3 hours ago
There's absolutely no reason you'd be fired from the current company, unless they were so psychotic that you'd be going with the new one anyways
– George M
3 hours ago
There's absolutely no reason you'd be fired from the current company, unless they were so psychotic that you'd be going with the new one anyways
– George M
3 hours ago
add a comment |
rooty is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
rooty is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
rooty is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
rooty is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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@rooty would you mind clarifying some things: (1) did you approach this company or did they approached you? (2) please mention your location
– DarkCygnus
8 hours ago
4
Did you bad mouth your current employer?
– Sandra K
8 hours ago
1
What do you mean by "call his bluff"? What would you do?
– Joe Strazzere
3 hours ago