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Team has team lunch everyday, am I forced to go?


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5















I don't want to join my colleagues for lunch, but I am an intern so joining is important for relationship building.



I don't know how they manage to have lunch everyday together but they do. Am I forced to join them in this situation?










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New contributor



Frank Joe is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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  • 1





    Does these lunch mean going out to a restaurant or grabing your lunch you brought from home and eating together in a table?

    – DarkCygnus
    6 hours ago






  • 1





    My colleagues eat out everyday, but I can't afford to do so even as a lead, because I have to budget to provide for my family and pay my mortgage. I recommend joining them for lunch once in a while for relationship building or even asking if people could get their lunch to-go and everyone eat in the office together.

    – jcmack
    6 hours ago








  • 3





    "I don't want to join my colleagues for lunch, but I am an intern so joining is important for relationship building. I don't know how they manage to have lunch everyday together but they do. Am I forced to join them in this situation?" - No. You get to decide which is more important: relationship building, or your desire not to join them for lunch.

    – Joe Strazzere
    6 hours ago











  • what is the reason you don't want to join them?

    – aaaaaa
    31 mins ago


















5















I don't want to join my colleagues for lunch, but I am an intern so joining is important for relationship building.



I don't know how they manage to have lunch everyday together but they do. Am I forced to join them in this situation?










share|improve this question









New contributor



Frank Joe is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.















  • 1





    Does these lunch mean going out to a restaurant or grabing your lunch you brought from home and eating together in a table?

    – DarkCygnus
    6 hours ago






  • 1





    My colleagues eat out everyday, but I can't afford to do so even as a lead, because I have to budget to provide for my family and pay my mortgage. I recommend joining them for lunch once in a while for relationship building or even asking if people could get their lunch to-go and everyone eat in the office together.

    – jcmack
    6 hours ago








  • 3





    "I don't want to join my colleagues for lunch, but I am an intern so joining is important for relationship building. I don't know how they manage to have lunch everyday together but they do. Am I forced to join them in this situation?" - No. You get to decide which is more important: relationship building, or your desire not to join them for lunch.

    – Joe Strazzere
    6 hours ago











  • what is the reason you don't want to join them?

    – aaaaaa
    31 mins ago














5












5








5








I don't want to join my colleagues for lunch, but I am an intern so joining is important for relationship building.



I don't know how they manage to have lunch everyday together but they do. Am I forced to join them in this situation?










share|improve this question









New contributor



Frank Joe is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











I don't want to join my colleagues for lunch, but I am an intern so joining is important for relationship building.



I don't know how they manage to have lunch everyday together but they do. Am I forced to join them in this situation?







colleagues lunch






share|improve this question









New contributor



Frank Joe is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.










share|improve this question









New contributor



Frank Joe is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.








share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 6 hours ago









DarkCygnus

40.8k1988172




40.8k1988172






New contributor



Frank Joe is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.








asked 6 hours ago









Frank JoeFrank Joe

1314




1314




New contributor



Frank Joe is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.




New contributor




Frank Joe is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.










  • 1





    Does these lunch mean going out to a restaurant or grabing your lunch you brought from home and eating together in a table?

    – DarkCygnus
    6 hours ago






  • 1





    My colleagues eat out everyday, but I can't afford to do so even as a lead, because I have to budget to provide for my family and pay my mortgage. I recommend joining them for lunch once in a while for relationship building or even asking if people could get their lunch to-go and everyone eat in the office together.

    – jcmack
    6 hours ago








  • 3





    "I don't want to join my colleagues for lunch, but I am an intern so joining is important for relationship building. I don't know how they manage to have lunch everyday together but they do. Am I forced to join them in this situation?" - No. You get to decide which is more important: relationship building, or your desire not to join them for lunch.

    – Joe Strazzere
    6 hours ago











  • what is the reason you don't want to join them?

    – aaaaaa
    31 mins ago














  • 1





    Does these lunch mean going out to a restaurant or grabing your lunch you brought from home and eating together in a table?

    – DarkCygnus
    6 hours ago






  • 1





    My colleagues eat out everyday, but I can't afford to do so even as a lead, because I have to budget to provide for my family and pay my mortgage. I recommend joining them for lunch once in a while for relationship building or even asking if people could get their lunch to-go and everyone eat in the office together.

    – jcmack
    6 hours ago








  • 3





    "I don't want to join my colleagues for lunch, but I am an intern so joining is important for relationship building. I don't know how they manage to have lunch everyday together but they do. Am I forced to join them in this situation?" - No. You get to decide which is more important: relationship building, or your desire not to join them for lunch.

    – Joe Strazzere
    6 hours ago











  • what is the reason you don't want to join them?

    – aaaaaa
    31 mins ago








1




1





Does these lunch mean going out to a restaurant or grabing your lunch you brought from home and eating together in a table?

– DarkCygnus
6 hours ago





Does these lunch mean going out to a restaurant or grabing your lunch you brought from home and eating together in a table?

– DarkCygnus
6 hours ago




1




1





My colleagues eat out everyday, but I can't afford to do so even as a lead, because I have to budget to provide for my family and pay my mortgage. I recommend joining them for lunch once in a while for relationship building or even asking if people could get their lunch to-go and everyone eat in the office together.

– jcmack
6 hours ago







My colleagues eat out everyday, but I can't afford to do so even as a lead, because I have to budget to provide for my family and pay my mortgage. I recommend joining them for lunch once in a while for relationship building or even asking if people could get their lunch to-go and everyone eat in the office together.

– jcmack
6 hours ago






3




3





"I don't want to join my colleagues for lunch, but I am an intern so joining is important for relationship building. I don't know how they manage to have lunch everyday together but they do. Am I forced to join them in this situation?" - No. You get to decide which is more important: relationship building, or your desire not to join them for lunch.

– Joe Strazzere
6 hours ago





"I don't want to join my colleagues for lunch, but I am an intern so joining is important for relationship building. I don't know how they manage to have lunch everyday together but they do. Am I forced to join them in this situation?" - No. You get to decide which is more important: relationship building, or your desire not to join them for lunch.

– Joe Strazzere
6 hours ago













what is the reason you don't want to join them?

– aaaaaa
31 mins ago





what is the reason you don't want to join them?

– aaaaaa
31 mins ago










2 Answers
2






active

oldest

votes


















19















Am I forced to join them in this situation?




Absolutely not. You are not forced to eat lunch with them every day.



Yes, it is true that having lunch together strengthens the professional relationship, but you should do it when you feel like it (and when your budget allows for such).



Next time they invite you, and you are unable or don't want to go, politely thank them for the invitation and decline. No need to give lengthy explanations, or make up excuses.






share|improve this answer































    3














    Why can you not join them? Is it a money or time issue?



    If it is a money issue, then they will understand. They do not expect that an intern is paid at the same rate as they are, and cannot spend at the same rate. In this case make a budget and go out with them on set days. An example might be every Friday and every other Wednesday. You should be upfront about why you are doing this. There is nothing embarrassing about being financial responsible. On those days you do eat in the office join anyone that does the same and expand your horizons some.



    If it is a time issue, then the same sort of thing applies. "Sorry guys, I can't make it today due to work on project X".



    You can still build on the relationships on the times you actually do go to lunch.






    share|improve this answer
























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      2 Answers
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      2 Answers
      2






      active

      oldest

      votes









      active

      oldest

      votes






      active

      oldest

      votes









      19















      Am I forced to join them in this situation?




      Absolutely not. You are not forced to eat lunch with them every day.



      Yes, it is true that having lunch together strengthens the professional relationship, but you should do it when you feel like it (and when your budget allows for such).



      Next time they invite you, and you are unable or don't want to go, politely thank them for the invitation and decline. No need to give lengthy explanations, or make up excuses.






      share|improve this answer




























        19















        Am I forced to join them in this situation?




        Absolutely not. You are not forced to eat lunch with them every day.



        Yes, it is true that having lunch together strengthens the professional relationship, but you should do it when you feel like it (and when your budget allows for such).



        Next time they invite you, and you are unable or don't want to go, politely thank them for the invitation and decline. No need to give lengthy explanations, or make up excuses.






        share|improve this answer


























          19












          19








          19








          Am I forced to join them in this situation?




          Absolutely not. You are not forced to eat lunch with them every day.



          Yes, it is true that having lunch together strengthens the professional relationship, but you should do it when you feel like it (and when your budget allows for such).



          Next time they invite you, and you are unable or don't want to go, politely thank them for the invitation and decline. No need to give lengthy explanations, or make up excuses.






          share|improve this answer














          Am I forced to join them in this situation?




          Absolutely not. You are not forced to eat lunch with them every day.



          Yes, it is true that having lunch together strengthens the professional relationship, but you should do it when you feel like it (and when your budget allows for such).



          Next time they invite you, and you are unable or don't want to go, politely thank them for the invitation and decline. No need to give lengthy explanations, or make up excuses.







          share|improve this answer












          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer










          answered 6 hours ago









          DarkCygnusDarkCygnus

          40.8k1988172




          40.8k1988172

























              3














              Why can you not join them? Is it a money or time issue?



              If it is a money issue, then they will understand. They do not expect that an intern is paid at the same rate as they are, and cannot spend at the same rate. In this case make a budget and go out with them on set days. An example might be every Friday and every other Wednesday. You should be upfront about why you are doing this. There is nothing embarrassing about being financial responsible. On those days you do eat in the office join anyone that does the same and expand your horizons some.



              If it is a time issue, then the same sort of thing applies. "Sorry guys, I can't make it today due to work on project X".



              You can still build on the relationships on the times you actually do go to lunch.






              share|improve this answer




























                3














                Why can you not join them? Is it a money or time issue?



                If it is a money issue, then they will understand. They do not expect that an intern is paid at the same rate as they are, and cannot spend at the same rate. In this case make a budget and go out with them on set days. An example might be every Friday and every other Wednesday. You should be upfront about why you are doing this. There is nothing embarrassing about being financial responsible. On those days you do eat in the office join anyone that does the same and expand your horizons some.



                If it is a time issue, then the same sort of thing applies. "Sorry guys, I can't make it today due to work on project X".



                You can still build on the relationships on the times you actually do go to lunch.






                share|improve this answer


























                  3












                  3








                  3







                  Why can you not join them? Is it a money or time issue?



                  If it is a money issue, then they will understand. They do not expect that an intern is paid at the same rate as they are, and cannot spend at the same rate. In this case make a budget and go out with them on set days. An example might be every Friday and every other Wednesday. You should be upfront about why you are doing this. There is nothing embarrassing about being financial responsible. On those days you do eat in the office join anyone that does the same and expand your horizons some.



                  If it is a time issue, then the same sort of thing applies. "Sorry guys, I can't make it today due to work on project X".



                  You can still build on the relationships on the times you actually do go to lunch.






                  share|improve this answer













                  Why can you not join them? Is it a money or time issue?



                  If it is a money issue, then they will understand. They do not expect that an intern is paid at the same rate as they are, and cannot spend at the same rate. In this case make a budget and go out with them on set days. An example might be every Friday and every other Wednesday. You should be upfront about why you are doing this. There is nothing embarrassing about being financial responsible. On those days you do eat in the office join anyone that does the same and expand your horizons some.



                  If it is a time issue, then the same sort of thing applies. "Sorry guys, I can't make it today due to work on project X".



                  You can still build on the relationships on the times you actually do go to lunch.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered 6 hours ago









                  Pete B.Pete B.

                  3,8581818




                  3,8581818






















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